Are Dinosaurs Bear's 'Voogers'?

There are a few little happenings and developments with the cubs that don't really fit in with any other blog post subject ideas I've had recently so I thought I'd round them all up and stick them together here in an update post.  However, I started writing about Bear and it went on much longer than I anticipated and with my brother and his girlfriend coming to visit tomorrow on my usual blog writing day, I don't think I'll get chance to write any more even if I wanted to.  So, this is Bear's update and - unless anything so amazing happens that I can't bring myself not to blog about it immediately - the next blog post will be Tyger's update.

Bear

'Baby' Bear is certainly no longer a baby!  He can climb.  He can really climb.  Bear is more like a...goat.  You know, like in those viral photos of goats in trees and on the sheer side of a dam?  Or he's like a squirrel or a monkey or...well, a bear, I guess.  Black bears, in particular, are very good climbers I think.  Yup, Baby Bear is like a bear!

He scales chairs to get onto the dining table, he climbs from the sofa to a coffee table to a shelf of CDs and if a chair is left along one side of the dining room it affords him opportunity to climb onto the kitchen work surface via a serving hatch between the two rooms.  He has even managed to open and empty the biscuit tin on one such excursion.  It's not quite a paw in beehive for honey but he and actual bears obviously also share a sweet tooth (I'm pretty sure real bears eat honey and it's not completely made up by A.A. Milne...pretty sure).  So, going to the toilet, making a cup of tea, putting away washing, anything involving leaving the living room/dining room/hall area Bear has access to is...hazardous.

If falling from a great height due to his own error in judgement was Baby Bear's only threat it wouldn't be too bad.  I mean, it would still be both annoying and stomach churningly alarming for me but he'd be unlikely to actually do himself too bad an injury.  There is another threat, though.  A loud, unpredictable, often violent threat.  If Bear is a bear, Tyger is a tiger.  Wild, unpredictable, prone to displays of intimidation (he screams in poor Bear's face a lot) but will attack if necessary (you know, if you class 'necessary' as he gets annoyed...or excited...or tired...or angry...upset...hungry...bored...).

A couple of weeks ago Bear climbed onto one of the dining chairs and stood playing at the table.  For once, he didn't climb onto the dining table so I left him to it (watching as I made lunch).  Then there was a tiger attack.  Tyger ran up to Bear and pushed the chair away.  Bear managed to grab the table and was left clinging on to it with his top half as his leg kicked the air like a cliffhanger in a TV show.  One of those literal cliff hangers with someone actually hanging off the edge of a cliff.  Luckily, at my scream, Mum ran to the rescue and grabbed Bear from the metre or so drop (which doesn't sound like much...okay, it isn't much but it's still taller than poor Baby Bear).  And this is the problem with Bear's bear-like climbing.  It would perhaps be bearable (ha...see what I did there?) if it weren't for Tyger grabbing at Bear, pulling away whatever he's climbing on, shouting at him and generally distracting him.  This extra risk makes Bear's climbing much more nerve wracking.

Climbing is not Bear's only recent achievement.  He has also started communicating much more.  I don't mean talking.  Bear does not really recognise the necessity of speech.  He is often able to do things for himself - if it involves retrieving something from somewhere high up, for instance - or he has started pointing and shouting.  Not shouting words because, as I said, he doesn't really do the whole speaking thing much, but shouting...noises.  Bear likes vowel sounds so he can do 'aaahhh' and 'oh' and 'uh' and makes these noise to get attention.  When he actually tries to form words he tends not to bother with consonants.  'Hello' becomes 'ah-oh' and 'thank you' is 'ah-oo' (he likes 'uh oh' for obvious reasons).  But he can make himself understood surprisingly well with the pointing and random noise technique.  He can also bring things to you, shake his head for 'no' and flap his hands for 'yes'.  Considering the sort of information he's generally trying to get across is 'I want a breadstick' or pass me Fergus' or 'put this toy in this other toy' and not...quantum mechanics, he gets by pretty well.

The other exciting news with Bear - although, this may only be relatable if you have a couple of children who have/possibly have ASD and even then I'm not convinced other people would be excited by it - is he might have his first 'special interest'!

Tyger's obsession is vacuum cleaners and Henry Hoover more specifically.

Of course, they're lined up as well...

I wanted to show off and add a photo of the Henry Hoover cake I made for Tyger for his third birthday because he was insistent he wanted a Henry 'Vooger' (what he called hoovers - though, alas, he can actually say 'hoover' now so I think I'll use 'vooger' as a term for an obsession because I've always thought it's so cute) rather than anything else and despite never doing anything more complicated than butter cream icing before I was quite proud of my efforts.  However, after finding a picture of said cake I remembered it has Tyger's real name on (in place of 'Henry') and that would sort of defeat the whole point of using pseudonyms...

Anyway, I wrote about how Tyger's obsession with vacuum cleaners began here in my 'What's Your Favourite Animal?' post.  Basically, he started out terrified of them and gradually became enthralled.  The reason I mention this is because something very similar seems to be happening with Bear.  The Wolf's lovely parents bought Tyger a pack of plastic dinosaurs that make a noise when you squeeze them when they visited recently.  The noise they make is pretty scary and loud and to start with Bear was terrified (possibly not helped by Tyger trying to shove all four dinosaurs in Bear's face whilst setting them all off making noise at the same time).  He stamped his feet and shook his head any time they were near and if someone (i.e. Tyger) sneaked up too close with one Bear threw it away and cried.

But he was still fascinated.  He kept pointing at the dinosaurs and even though he was still scared when anyone squeezed one, once the sound had stopped he'd grin.  And he started to get closer to them...  It wasn't as gradual as Tyger's conversion to hoovers but then I guess they're not as big or noisy.  I got Bear a dinosaur book and he loves pointing to the pictures and making roaring sounds.  He's not as taken with the soft dinosaur I bought him, which makes an even more terrifying sound when it's squeezed, but then he seems to think any fraternising with cuddly toys other than Fergus is some sort of betrayal.  No other soft toys are allowed.  In general, dinosaurs seem to be of great interest right now.

I wonder...will dinosaurs be Bear's voogers?

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Tyger the Tiger is Being Referred

It's been several months since Tyger had his initial visit from the health visitors who employed the tried and tested 'wait and see' approach to his suspected ASD.  We had a second visit from a different health visitor a couple of weeks ago.

She was nice but almost immediately made the rookie mistake of assuring me Tyger made 'really good eye contact'.  This comes up time and time again when talking about ASD and it's such an outdated thing to focus on.  Whilst a child avoiding eye contact is certainly something to take note of, it's just one of many many traits and behaviours that could indicate ASD but certainly doesn't need to be present for a diagnosis of ASD (lots of autistic people make eye contact perfectly well).

I guess it's the same with anything people start to become aware of and talk about.  If you're actually pretty knowledgeable on the subject, you notice the misinformation or incomplete information everywhere (you know, like when you hear someone discussing Jon Snow's parentage and they don't even know about the L+R=J theory?...anyone?...no?).  I saw a thread on a parenting forum yesterday about a lady who sounded potentially autistic to me.  However, another poster assured me she couldn't possibly be autistic because she had a habit of massively overstaying her welcome and autistic people hate being in social situations so wouldn't do that.  This reminded me of when my mum initially took my ASD sister to the GP the doctor said, 'The good news is it's unlikely to be autism because she wants to have friends.'  This whole 'autistic people hate being around other people' myth is pretty pervasive but it is a myth.  It's true that the mishandling of social situations is a big part of ASD but an inappropriate social response/understanding isn't the same as hating all other people!  Of course you do get the stereotypical autistic person who just doesn't like spending time with others and prefers to spend all day every day on their obsession but you also get the ones who desperately want to spend time with others but find social situations hugely stressful, the ones who enjoy being around other people but possibly don't realise they're being inappropriate or hogging the conversation, the ones who find one person they like and just want to spend all day with that person.  It varies greatly as each one is different - almost like they're, you know, people!

Now, Tyger loves people.  He loves talking to people.  He loves saying 'hi' to people in the street...every single one of them, regardless of whether they say hi back or look at him or acknowledge him in any way.  He loves it when delivery men come to the door and will invite them in ('come in, come in!').  He loves talking to people in the doctor's waiting room and will make instant friends with some unfortunate little old lady who he'll then demand stands up and goes with him to the children's books in the corner.  He loves it when one of my sisters has a friend round and will immediately attach himself to the poor unsuspecting teenager and cry when they disappear to my sister's bedroom.  He loves people.  Except when he doesn't but that's probably another blog post.

The health visitor seemed taken aback by his forwardness and bemused by his responses to her attempts to engage him in putting puzzle pieces into the right slots.  My mum - who has extensive knowledge and experience with young children - said toddlers tend to fall into two groups when they meet a strange adult.  They are either shy and unwilling to engage or confident and eager to please (which isn't to say either group won't end up cheeky/chatty/difficult etc. given a little time to get to know the adult).  Tyger is confident and friendly...but also knows his own mind and will freely tell it to anyone and everyone.  The health visitor asked him to put one puzzle piece in the right place so he did, whilst chatting away.  She asked him to put the next one in place and he told her 'no' and started playing with the piece (it was a car) despite all her encouragement .  She asked him to point out an animal in a book and he did.  Then next time he indignantly told her it was her turn and refused to co-operate.

I don't think she knew how to take him.  I'm not sure she was convinced he has ASD but she's referring him to a child psychiatrist anyway so it doesn't really matter.  The appointment will probably take months to come through but that's fine.  He doesn't particularly need a diagnosis right now since he spends all day every day with me and I already know about his needs but since it can take years in some cases, I'd rather start the whole process now before he's at school and might actually need the support a diagnosis would give.

Not that I always find it easy to support his needs.  For instance, Tyger has sensory issues and one of the ways this impacts on him is he doesn't like wearing clothes.  In particular, he doesn't like wearing jeans.  I think the restrictive nature of them and the waistband are uncomfortable for him.  I'd let him run around naked all day if I could.  I like to think I'm a pretty liberal parent and nudity isn't a big deal - or it wouldn't be if Tyger could leave...himself alone.  I know, I know, it's totally normal and natural for kids to do some 'fiddling' and the like.  As I said, I'm open minded.  However, Tyger will play with his penis until it's red and inflamed.  He also started trying to put various things up his bottom.  Now, I know he's my first but I'm pretty sure the 'let them explore their bodies' attitude only applies so long as you don't think doing so will lead to a trip to the GP (which it did) or possibly A&E.

So, for now at least, clothes are a must.  But the fight of trying to get them on him in the morning and back on him after every toilet visit was tiring and he also learnt if he claimed he needed the potty he could take his trousers and pants off then run away (we're in the UK so 'pants' are always underpants, not trousers).  I tried jogging bottoms instead of jeans but whilst Baby Bear can only wear jogging bottoms because jeans are too tight to get over his huge thighs, Tyger is too skinny for jogging bottoms and they just fall down (the drawstrings on his age range seem to be decorative only and aren't functional - I can only assume this is due to fear of strangulation, which is probably also why you can't get mittens on a string anymore now I think of it).  Dungarees caused more problems than they solved because he got very stressed out by the buttons.

He doesn't mind his onesies at night, though, and often asks to wear them instead of clothes so I had an idea.  I didn't really want him wearing the ones he has for night during the day - partly because they're quite thin and since he also refuses to wear socks he'd likely be cold and partly because I want a distinction between what he wears in the day and the night to help with a sleep association.  I had a look on Amazon and eBay (I'm sure there are other places to purchase things but their existance has slowly faded from my memory) and found a fluffy tiger onesie.  The fabric was similar to a Frozen blanket Tyger has, which he loves.  He especially love to lie on the blanket when he doesn't have any pants or jeans on and...well he really likes it.

The tiger onesie arrived and we were both excited I got him undressed and put the onesie on and...he went mad and told me he wanted his clothes on.  After making a fuss about his jeans for frack knows how long, he was begging to wear them and refused to wear the nice soft onesie with no waistband.  This sort of thing comes up a lot.  Later, after leaving the onesie lying around for him to get used to (like how you introduce a new cat to an existing one slowly and a bit at a time) he said he wanted it on..woohoo!...over the top of his clothes...ah.  I couldn't help but think this was defeating the whole point of the thing and was ready to write it off as a failure but I think he gained encouragement from everyone's reaction to how cute he was and the next day he allowed me to put it on him with only pants underneath.  The Goram zip was a bit scratchy on his chest, though, so I had to add a t-shirt as well.  And that's what he's been happily wearing for two days now: pants a t-shirt and his tiger onesie.  No fights after the toilet and he actually brought the onesie to me this morning when he got up so I could put it on him.  I've ordered a Gruffalo one in similar fabric but I'm a bit worried about how I'm going to wash the tiger one before it arrives.  Evening laundry, perhaps.  Or...I don't know.  I'm sure cleanliness is overrated.

What's Your Favourite Animal?

I'm not sure if I've mentioned the Hoover obsession on here before.

Tiny Tyger is obsessed with Hoovers.  He used to be terrified of them, once upon a time, and would cry if I tried to do the vacuuming (so I selflessly delegated the task to the Wolf - I know, I know: the sacrifices we make for our children).  There was a vacuum cleaner in a room where we had a baby group and he spent a large part of the time pointing at it and making 'vvvvvvv' noises.  Even after the hoover moved to a different room, he still pointed at the corner it used to be and made the noise.

That was the beginning of the fascination with hoovers.  Tyger had a strange relationship with them where he was simultaneously petrified of them and mesmerised by them.  I guess it's not unlike the sort of relationship some religious people have with whatever god they worship: a combination of fear and respect.

But, gradually, he was able to get a little closer to the hoover.  He'd touch it when it was off and watch - captivated - when it was on.  And then he started to touch it when it was on, which led to...Tyger 'helping' with the hoovering.  These days, there is no excuse for me not hoovering (on Tyger's part, anyway.  I still have to time it around Baby Bear's naps but 'fortunately' Baby Bear thinks sleep is for the weak so that's not a huge issue - but that's a blog post for another day!).

He called hoovers 'voogers' and everything was a vooger.  If it vaguely looked like it had a hose or if it was electric/mechanical and didn't fit into other categories like 'car' then it was a vooger.  You wouldn't believe how man voogers can be seen in everyday life.  A tall lamp, pipes, construction machinery, a bouncy castle: all voogers!

For Christmas 2013 - when Tyger was a year and a half - we got him a toy Henry Hoover.  It was immediately promoted to favourite toy and within a couple of minutes he wouldn't even let me touch the thing in order to straighten the hose because he seemed convinced I was trying to take it away from him (slightly offensive he thinks so little of me that he believes I'd give him a present only to cruelly snatch it away a minute later).  He has played with it almost every day since then.  It no longer has the ed attachment (that has gone the same way as some wooden shapes, the wheel of a car, and various other toys that have seemingly disappeared off the face of the earth) and we cannot under any circumstances put batteries in it (made that mistake once and had several days of alternating humming hoover sound or Tyger screaming when we had enough and turned it off until the batteries finally ran out) and the end of the hose has had bits of stuffing from my mum's dog's bed shoved up it but it has seen much use.

For Christmas just past Tyger got a small Henry Hoover (also missing batteries - we have learnt) supposedly for cleaning computer keyboards in his stocking and a cuddly Henry Hoover 'from' Baby Bear.  I'm not sure how normal that is for a two and a half year old.

The other day we took Tyger to get his feet measured at the shoe shop (or 'foot maker' as Tyger later called it) and popped in to the pet shop afterwards.  We got treats and replacement name tag things and worming tablets etc. but they were all 'whilst we're here...' purchases.  Our real reason for going in was to show Tyger the birds/fish/small mammals that normally in habit the various tanks and cages.  Except this time, for whatever reason, said tanks and cages were empty.  Aw, shame.  Especially since we told Tyger he could go in and see the animals.  But he didn't seem that fussed so we thought 'no harm done'...and then...

As I was taking past the back corner just to see what was there he caught a glimpse of something through a curtained off area.  A glimpse of something black and red with a smiling face and a long hose.  Yup, there was a Henry Hoover behind the curtains and I'll admit I did fear a meltdown.  Tyger was quite good, though.  He did try to get to the hoover and succeeded in dashing through the curtains more than once before I managed to grab him.  He also wanted to turn it on and every time I tried to take him away he'd walk a bit with me before stopping dead in the isle to say, 'Vvvvvv...what's that funny noise?  The voogert!' and run back to the curtains.  (I don't know why the 't' has appeared at the end of the word now - Tyger has done it with several words.)

But we made it out.  And, yes, he was crying and kicking as we left but it was actually over the toy dog behind the counter he wanted to stroke and not because of the hoover.

We went to Costa for cake the same trip but when asked what we did that day Tyger, of course, replied, 'See voogert.'  I have also been trying to teach him the meaning of the word 'favourite' and so told him when he was sat at the table with my sister that her favourite animal is a rabbit.  I asked him what his favourite animal was.  He paused to give it thought and replied, 'Voogert.'  So, maybe he understands 'favourite' now but I'm not so sure he gets 'animal'.